Thoughts

I haven't posted much but I've drafted a thousand posts in my head.   There is so much I want to say and no time to write it all out.  
Also, I think I want to try another blog name, I'm not feeling this one any more but I can't think of a blog name that suits.  
It tricky.

In any case, its coming up on what would have been John and my first Anniversary.  And then it will be a year that he has been gone.  I'm dreading the date on both. Thankfully I'm usually not really aware of dates until I have an event at work or I have to schedule something so maybe it will come and go with me not knowing.  That would be helpful.  

There really is no escape from the thoughts that have plagued my mind since the day he passed.  Even when I'm having a good day something will sleep through.

It's hard to believe that I've been without him for so long when the grief is still so fresh.   It would be utterly unbearable, but I'm so busy that I can be distracted.  Only at nighttime or weekends is it the hardest.

Daycare woes...

This morning I dropped baby off to daycare, only to be hit with some tough news... My favorite daycare worker quit.  She was having troubles at home and it all became too much for her apparently.  I told them to have her contact me to see if there was anything I could do.  This woman was instrumental in my feeling more comfortable with my transition to daycare and she treated my daughter like a princess.  I do hope she contacts me, so I can at least try to assist her. 
It's a very vulnerable feeling putting your child in the care of others and I felt much better knowing she was cared for amazingly by this wonderful woman. 

Has anyone else had this happen to them?  A favorite daycare employee quit or get fired?  How do you deal?

As I Stumble Along

This is my new blog for my journey through life as a widowed Mother of a beautiful baby girl.

I was windowed in January 2012 while I was expecting.  Our Daughter was born May 3rd of 2012.  

It has been a hard journey, some days joyous and some excruciating. Though my little girl keeps me going every step of the way.  I've happened upon some things that work for me as a single mother of an infant and I'd like to pass them on to others.  I don't claim to know everything or be an expert of parenting, but as I stumble along, I find things that could be useful for others.